Orange Dress
by moon71
Summary: Set in and around Episode 7 – Ground Zero – Eiri returns to Kyoto to marry Ayaka and forget Shuichi – but his troubled memories aren’t the only thing following behind… Chapter 5: Afternoon
1. Evening

**ORANGE DRESS by MOON 71**

**SUMMARY: **Set in and around **Episode 7 – Ground Zero **– Eiri returns to Kyoto to marry Ayaka and forget Shuichi – but his troubled memories aren't the only thing following behind…

**RATING: **K to T

**DISCLAIMER: **Don't own an orange dress

**DEDICATION: **to **HRT - _The Rainy Season_** is one of my favourite Grav fanfics and this little story was heavily inspired by it, though this one isn't funny!

**NOTES: **Yes, it's whinging time again!!! There are many funny moments in Gravitation but for me, Shuichi dressing up as a girl just after being gang-raped was not one of them. It's the sailor suit thing I really hated, not the orange dress (which was rather cute) but "Sailor Suit" would just have been too stupid a title for this story! So here, Eiri vents my spleen for me. And you thought it was all self, self, self with him…

And yes, I suppose it is a bit cheeky to chop up what is essentially a short story into little pieces, but this one had a rather episodic feel so I thought it would be more fun that way!

* * *

Evening. In his bedroom. 

He hated the room. He hated the house. He hated Kyoto. He hated Japan.

It was amazing how quickly and suddenly the memory of such thoughts flooded back as he sat there, gazing around the room he had never loved. The thoughts of a fifteen year old boy he had almost forgotten fitted quite perfectly into the mind of the twenty-two year old man he had become.

He wanted to go home. Home to Tokyo. Home to a city bustling with people from all over, people who hardly spared him a glance in the street unless they fancied him or liked his books. He wanted his study, his flat, his favourite pictures back on the walls instead of in storage in the basement of NG records.

He wanted…

He wanted fruit-scented hair and warm, fine skin and musical laughter –

Eiri got to his feet and paced across to the window, disturbed by a sudden stirring of desire.

_Stop it, you sick bastard. _The vehemence of his own thoughts startled him. _Stop perving over him. You've had your fun, and he's the one who paid for it. He had love as an excuse, whether you believed him or not. What was your excuse? Even when he was hurting, when he needed you most, all you could offer was more sex. Leave him alone now, you've done enough._

Was that really his voice? It sounded more like that bloody Nakano.

_You're the one I really blame._

Wonderful. Now whenever he allowed himself the brief, innocent pleasure of a little fantasy he would have the disembodied voice of Shindou Shuichi's best friend ticking him off.

"Eiri, aren't you going to answer me…?" Mika was asking.

Oh. So Mika was still there, standing in the doorway. Ignoring her hadn't made her go away after all. She had turned up earlier, as ever an envoy from their father, asking Eiri if he would officiate at a funeral the next morning. Great – a funeral on the eve of a wedding. It seemed as though his father had a sense of humour after all.

Eiri remembered the woman whose funeral it would be – an old grandmother a few streets away who could never remember his name but used to give him sweets when Mika wasn't looking. He'd completely forgotten about her and about the sweets until his father had mentioned her name. Well, what the hell? It would keep him busy.

And it wasn't as if he was going to fill the time with writing. The words had died; the ideas had faded. There was nothing. He couldn't even remember how to begin. Odd, how it didn't seem to matter. He supposed things would return to normal soon enough – all artists, even writers, were egocentric bastards at heart. They'd forget to turn up to their own mother's funeral if the muse was talking to them. Even Shuichi couldn't give him permanent writer's block.

"Look, I know it's hard," Mika sighed, "but you really are doing the right thing."

The cliché made his writer's blood boil. What the hell did she know? She obviously thought he had finally come to his senses and decided that a fresh start with Ayaka was really what he needed. Well in she was right in a way – he had come to his senses. Far too late.

His only answer was a surly grunt.

"Eiri…" there was a pleading note in Mika's voice now, a need for understanding, for reassurance. "I know you care about Shuichi…"

"Who says I care?" he muttered, reaching for his cigarettes. "He just made a change from the women. When I realised he nagged and whined just as much as they did I got over it and dumped him."

"_Eiri…!" _

Mika didn't like that. She was second guessing herself. She always did it. She had a hot temper but it never lasted. Underneath the hard-nosed bitch act she had a remarkably tender heart. If she hadn't, she would have shut Eiri out of her life an age ago - and taken Tohma with her, whether he wanted to come or not. Now that Shuichi was no longer an irritating problem, she could allow herself to look at him with kinder eyes.

Eiri froze in the act of lighting his cigarette. He'd have to speak to her later, he realised, to stop her doing something truly stupid. He could just see her making some clumsy gesture to compensate Shuichi for his loss – some expensive gift; a state of the art synthesiser, a motorbike or even a car if the brat ever stood a chance of passing his driving test. It was too late for her to offer Tohma again. Whatever it was, it would be absolutely guaranteed to make the poor little bastard feel like a fully paid up, card carrying whore… assuming he didn't feel like one already.

He wouldn't tell her the full truth of course, though she was bound to find out from Seguchi soon enough. Eiri would have liked to have kept it from Tohma too, at least until after the wedding, but the need for an ambulance for Aizawa's friend had scotched all chances of that. Seguchi had insisted he would deal with it – which in his case meant hushing it up.

Just like last time.

Eiri could not help closing his eyes, feeling pressure building behind them. To give the man his due, his brother in law would have buried Aizawa and his crappy band along with him if Eiri had demanded it. But Eiri hadn't demanded it. He might have demanded it… if Shuichi had asked him to. But all Shuichi had asked was for Eiri not to leave him.

_Shit. Damn. Fuck. _

"Get the hell out," he snapped at Mika with sudden heat, "you've got what you wanted, so leave me alone!"

He enjoyed the hurt look in her eyes as she left his room. The attack was completely unjustified of course – he wasn't doing this to please her; he wasn't even doing this _because_ of her. If Ayaka hadn't been there, some other unlucky woman would do just as well. But making Mika miserable felt good just then – facing his father's smug satisfaction was bad enough; the old fool still held out hope of Eiri taking over the temple, regardless of how many times he had reassured him it would never happen. But if Eiri saw the slightest happiness in anyone else that day he thought he would explode.

With a heavy sigh, he began to undress. A shower might get rid of that chilled feeling he could not shake off. He had probably caught something – unless it was just this damned draughty old house.

As the hot water beat down onto his skin, he felt his muscles relax, his body and his mind slowly uncoiling. He closed his eyes, his hands slipping downwards to his loins.

Shuichi pushed up against the tiled wall, soapy water running down his smooth golden skin, eyes half closed, lips parted, softly panting… _Eiri, Eiri, oh Eiri… _funny how it was always _Eiri, _not _Yuki,_ in his fantasies…

Shuichi kneeling before him, looking up at him through strands of dripping pink hair. _Oh come on, please let me, Eiri… I'll do it really good this time…_

Oh well… if he insisted…

Without warning, naked wet Shuichi was rudely replaced by Shuichi in that stupid schoolgirl's uniform, affecting what he vainly hoped was winsome charm. Ready to do anything, anything at all to win Eiri back, even if it meant pretending to be the girl he had got it into his head that Eiri would prefer… and after everything he'd just been through…

What would he have done if he knew the image he presented made Eiri feel physically sick…?

Eiri groaned, hitting the shower wall with his fists. Was this the way it was going to be? Wasn't he even allowed a harmless wank without seeing Shuichi in that bloody sailor suit?

At the very thought of it, other images forced their way back into his head. Shuichi kneeling beside the stack of his belongings Eiri had left in the hall. Shuichi crying and pleading, utterly unprepared for the sudden rejection after a month of apparent acceptance. The confusion on that innocent face as he tried to understand why the tide had turned. The desolation in those big violet eyes as Eiri told him he hated him…

_I'll try really hard, and I'll get to where you like me…!_

The words still stung Eiri's mind. Why _that?_ Why not _well, go fuck yourself then, you sad, miserable old bastard!_ That was what he would surely have said in Shuichi's position…

Wasn't that, in essence, what he _had _said? Shuichi might have reacted like hurt child, but Eiri had behaved like a spoilt brat. _Go away, the game's over, pack up your toys and go home, I'm tired of playing with you._

That was what it had felt like, at least on the surface. A game. A bit of fun. Eiri wanted Shuichi - if he was honest, he had wanted him from the moment he had seen him in the park, which had made his verbal assault all the more vitriolic - and he was sick of pretending that he didn't, of telling himself he was completely satisfied with his women. Why shouldn't he have him for a while? Who would it hurt?

Himself, actually. It wasn't just Shuichi he had trying to protect after all. He wasn't that philanthropic. That blasted magazine article had finally woken him up, made him realise what was happening.

_I'll belong to you. _

What the hell had he been thinking, promising something like that to a fanciful boy like Shuichi? And meaning it, too?

He had become infatuated, that was what it was. He had become intoxicated with Shuichi's stage presence, by his fresh, pretty looks, by his… yes, by his pure _joy de vie._ It was little more than some pathetic, childish crush, no different from the one he had once had on –

Enough of that. Mika had been right to be uneasy about him and Shuichi. How well she still knew him her idiot brother.

But who would have thought some loud, uncultured, scruffy little runt could be so… captivating…

Shuichi, gyrating on the stage in those tight fitting black shorts…

He put his hand against himself once more.

Shuichi in the sailor suit.

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit SHIT!_

**TBC: Night - **Eiri unhappily remembers his last moments with Shuichi


	2. Night

**ORANGE DRESS by Moon71**

**Chapter 2: Night** Sleep doesn't mean peace for Eiri as he recalls his last encounter with Shuichi.

**Author's Notes: **Thank you to all for such supportive (and quick!!!) reviews! I will copy Vindalootoo here and respond to comments below, because personally I like to read the responses the author makes to all reviewers, not just me! All I will say here is that I was never exactly sure of what was going through Shuichi's head with the sailor suit thing, but here is my interpretation. Feel free to disagree!

And… sorry this chapter is pretty short, but as I said, I thought it was better posted scene by scene, as each scene is almost a story in itself…

* * *

Late night, in his bedroom.

He dreamed he was in his bedroom in Tokyo, nursing a feverish and swooning Shuichi.

At least it might be a dream; then again, it might just be his mind replaying what had really happened. In the last few days his memory had begun throwing up all sorts of memories he had thought gone forever. But whether this was a dream or just a sort of flashback, the kind experienced by those who had recently lived through a traumatic event, it wasn't anything he could control.

Shuichi had worn himself out shouting at Eiri and was now asking that question Eiri loathed above all others. _Why._ Why must Eiri leave him? Why wouldn't he stay with him? What did Eiri want him to do? Whatever Eiri wanted him to do he would do it, if only Eiri would stay. He wasn't shouting and he wasn't whining. He sounded exhausted; more than that he sounded so utterly defeated, so absolutely desolate that Eiri's heart, shielded against attack for so long, actually seemed ready to break.

He looked down at Shuichi and wanted to embrace him but couldn't. Not while he was wearing that wretched schoolgirl's garb. He had wanted to rip it off him while he was still lying asleep on the bed, but had considered that after everything that happened, Shuichi would not relish the prospect of waking up naked, even in front of his lover.

"Y-Yuki…?" Shuichi sniffed, raising brimming violet eyes to Eiri's face.

"Take it off."

"…huh…?"

"That goddamned uniform. And whatever the hell else you've got on under it. Just take it off."

When Shuichi hesitated, Eiri went over to the wardrobe and pulled out a woollen jumper, handing it to Shuichi before sitting down on the bed and staring at the floor while his companion shed his garments and pulled the jumper on.

"Why?" Eiri asked the hated question himself. He wanted to speak tenderly, but it came out as a growl. "Why the sailor suit? What were you _thinking?"_

Shuichi sat down beside him pulling the oversized sweater over his knees and tucking his hands deep into the sleeves. When he spoke his voice was so soft Eiri had to strain to hear. "They called me… they called me a whore. That was the word they used… "whore." It sounds a bit funny, doesn't it? I mean, me, a… a… well, I suppose it doesn't matter…" Shuichi drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "They said I was only sleeping with you because you were Seguchi-san's brother-in-law and that Seguchi-san wouldn't have given a shit about Bad Luck if you weren't… weren't… fucking me."

The word seemed to choke him. Shuichi swore as much as any other nineteen year old city boy, but he never used that word when he mentioned sex and he seemed to hate it if Eiri did.

"Then they said that you were only sleeping with _me_ because I looked like a girl. They went on about how many girlfriends you'd had… they asked me if I really thought _Yuki Eiri _was _gay? _They said you'd realised what I was – a freak – and that was why you'd dumped me. I got confused… I thought… I thought…"

Eiri cleared his throat. "It's not true," he whispered hoarsely, "none of it's true. You do realise that now, don't you?"

Shuichi looked up at him then, his face a mask of grief. Slowly he began to whimper. When Eiri could not help but take him in his arms, Shuichi broke into harsh, violent sobs that wracked his slender frame. It made Eiri's head hurt. There was a hard, painful pressure building behind his eyes. Suddenly he wanted to cry too. For the first time in six years, he wanted the relief of tears. He wanted to mourn for all he and Shuichi had lost, and were about to lose. But his eyes remained dry.

He wanted to say something, anything, to comfort him, but no words would come.

So he waited until the crying eased a little before gently pulling away from Shuichi and wiping the tears from his cheeks. It was Shuichi who really made the first move, sliding his arms up around Eiri's neck and nuzzling in before finally finding his lips. But Eiri could not help responding, one last time.

That pseudo-Nakano was right, he wryly observed from the depths of his dream; sex was all he had to offer.

TBC: Morning – Eiri resigns himself to his wedding to Ayaka with his usual bad grace, but there's a surprise in store…**

* * *

NOTES TO CHAPTER 1 (stop here if you're easily bored!)**

"**MISSING SCENES" – **I have to agree with Vin here! I love stories along that expand on scenes within the anime or the manga – there are so many scenes in both I would have liked to have seen more of, and many of my stories are (and will be) of this type. As Vin points out, Grav is fundamentally a romantic comedy / drama and it would have ruined it to bog it down with too much angst – I actually think its remarkably angst-free, and has a positive message about healing and moving on and… dare I say it… the power of love… But what it also has is a cast of terrific characters who just beg to be analysed in depth! I hope to get to all of them before the muse runs dry…

**MIKA – **First of all, thank you to **Vin** (nice to have you back, duck!) and **Overskill** (Chapter 2! Chapter 2! I want Chapter 2!) for such long and supportive reviews! I totally agree Mika is highly complicated; all the Gravitation women are in their way, which is what attracts me to them! (I really regret that Maiko, Mrs Shindou and Mrs Nakano rather faded into the background as they story went on.) I do feel I short-changed her here, but the honest truth is she wasn't really supposed to be in this story. It started out from what will be chapter 4 – a scene between Tatsuha and Eiri (more on that later!) The "earlier" scenes appeared when I came up with the dialogue between Eiri and Shuichi described here – I thought it was better to work it into this story than write yet _another_ one-scene story about the rape. I do want to write about Mika, though, and that will happen in time!

About the "fresh start" – I probably didn't phrase that very well. I didn't mean a fresh start from Shu, but rather a change from Yuki's "unhealthy" Tokyo lifestyle. An arranged marriage to someone like Ayaka always seemed odd reasoning to me, but the way I figured it was that with a young Kyoto virgin Eiri could start with a clean slate – and yes, of course, settle into his duty at the same time!!! But again, I will get back to Mrs Seguchi as soon as I can!!

**BRITISH – **to **Supershu **(talking of unfinished stories… hint, hint…) I'm glad you appreciated that, especially the naughty w-word. (Couldn't resist it – said with a British accent and the right amount of contempt, it just has a kick that jerkoff lacks!) I have to admit when I'm trying to get Shu's dialogue right, I do hear Rich McNanna's voice – of the two Shuichis, scandalous though this is of me, I prefer his version. There's just something of the quintessential teenaged boy in his voice. (And though I might get hung for saying this, the Japanese version just whines a bit too much!) So I prefer to let him use US slang. But otherwise keeping in mind everyone is supposed to be speaking Japanese anyway, I let a bit more British speak slip in! (I used that same logic when writing dialogue for Alexander The Great, and haven't had any complaints so far!)

**And…**

To **Strawberry Goods – **right on both counts! To **Xedra – **Glad you liked the "Eiri" bit, I thought it was an interesting point! The "Eiri" versus "Yuki" thing always fascinates me! To **Scorch – **just bless you, basically!


	3. Morning

**ORANGE DRESS by Moon71**

**Chapter 3: Morning- **Eiri resigns himself to his wedding to Ayaka with his usual bad grace, but there's a surprise in store…

**Author's Notes: **Thank you again for such kind reviews – as time is limited this evening I will post this very short installment quickly; for that reason I have replied in a general way to comments rather than by name, but I am really, really grateful to all you wonderful reviewers who not only read but bother to write a detailed response!!!!

* * *

Morning. In the temple.

He didn't want to see Ayaka. He wanted Ayaka to go away. He had thought everything would be all right – she had been quiet and submissive when he had proposed to her, and that was the way he hoped she would stay. But at that time he had been too raw, too shell-shocked to think much about it.

Now it was beginning to feel like a very big mistake. Not the wedding itself – that had to happen. But the choice of bride. Ayaka wasn't just some distant image anymore. She was no longer totally separated from the life he had had in Tokyo. She had made friends with Shuichi and Nakano; she had admitted as much before he had told her the truth about the true nature of his relationship with Shuichi. He was still not sure why he had told her, but he certainly hadn't imagined proposing marriage to her barely a month later.

It wasn't that he suddenly cared about her feelings – Ayaka's feelings still seemed very remote to him. She had no business professing to love him when she didn't know a thing about him. That made her as stupid and naïve as Shuichi. That meant she deserved whatever she -

No. What bothered him now was that she had become connected with Eiri's Tokyo life. With Shuichi. Whenever he looked at her he would remember that concert. He would remember _Yuki is mine!_ He would remember the smile he could not bite back. And he would remember afterwards, when Shuichi had come back to him, expecting a tirade of abuse but receiving a passionate welcome followed by a promise to be his lover.

_I don't mind. I'll belong to you. _

Bullshit, bullshit, all bullshit.

Though it choked him to admit it, Mika was right again. He was doing, as the cliché went, _the right thing. _There was no point in fighting against it.

Goodbye… Shindou Shuichi.

It was remarkable how much it pained him to say it, even in the privacy of his thoughts. Worse, he realised that thanks to that motherfucker Aizawa he was saying it for the second time in the space of a week. At least the first time he could have said he was walking away before too much harm was done.

But pain faded quickly enough. Eiri's rather selective memory would see that it did. He closed his eyes briefly.

Enough. It was over. He wouldn't think about it anymore.

His father, intoning his prayers to the patron deity of the temple. Some drivel about Ayaka's beauty and accomplishments which called for a flippant remark about Ayaka's breasts, just to wipe the smug look off the old man's face. Then Tatsuha arriving with Ayaka.

Who wasn't Ayaka at all… but Shuichi, in pink lipstick and a hideous orange dress.

**

* * *

TBC: Noon****– **Eiri confronts his meddling brother… 

**NOTES: **(Yes, here she goes again…)

**Shuichi- **Tomokazu Seki has a marvelous vocal range and I would say all the Japanese actors have more expressive voices than their US counterparts; but then again they have the advantage of not having to use sometimes stilted translated dialogue to fit the lip-synching, so I suppose its very hard to "pick a side" here! Part of the Rich McNanna thing is just that for Eiri, I can to an extent talk _for_ him in my head when I'm smoothing out his dialogue, if that makes any sense, but for Shuichi I find that really difficult, mainly because he uses a lot of street slang. So do I, to an extent, but it's British, and it just doesn't work. (What I mean is, imagining what a British teenager would say in Shuichi's situation wouldn't work – for example, a British Shuichi wouldn't say "Yuki you're a total jerk!" he'd say "Yuki, you're a complete git!" Just can't see him saying that! Sorry to bang on about such things, you've just got me thinking!!

I suppose I also have a sentimental attachment to some of those US voices – I recognize one or two from such 1980's Japanese animes such as Battle of the Planets and Ulysses 31!!

**Yuki – **I'm glad my more sympathetic Eiri is getting a good reception – I get very weary of fanfics where (when the setting is after the anime) he is still behaving like (to quote the imaginary British Shuichi) a complete git, and is constantly throwing Shuichi out of the house. I thought the anime Yuki in particular showed a gentle side to his nature fairly early on, and the (more changeable) manga Yuki also had plenty of charming and playful moments (vol 5, for example, is my favourite.)

**Manga / Anime – **For this story I've followed the general timeline of the anime, as I do for most of my stories, but I always read the manga scenes again. They tend to be longer and more comprehensive. After this chapter, though, the story jumps ahead to "missing scene land" – you'll see what I mean!


	4. Noon

**ORANGE DRESS by Moon71**

**Chapter** **4: Noon – **Well, so much for Eiri's noble attempt to do the right thing. Having consigned his cross-dressing "fiancée" to the depths of the ornamental pond, he goes to settle scores with his interfering little brother…

**Author's Notes: **This chapter was actually the original beginning of this story. I started wishing I could write a scene between Tatsuha and Eiri, and once an idea gets into my head it's hard to leave it alone. I don't often come up with ideas for Tatsuha – like Ryuichi, he is one I find difficult to write, but I like to test myself a bit so I will try to write something for as many of the Gravitation characters as I can before I quit!

I do find Tatsuha unexpectedly fascinating. Like all the Gravitation characters he is multi-faceted – one of the many joys of this series is that you have a sense each character has a life that continues independently of Shuichi and / or Eiri when they're "out of the picture" (i.e. none of them are there solely to serve the furtherance of the main plot.)

I thought Tatsuha's willing involvement in the ruin of Eiri and Ayaka's engagement was something I would like to make him explain. However, like I said, for various reasons he isn't easy for me to write, so if I've made a mess of him, I apologise!

* * *

Noon, outside the temple.

"_Tatsuha!"_

Eiri's explosive yell brought froze the rapidly retreating figure in his tracks. With visible reluctance, Eiri's younger brother turned around.

"Oh – hey, bro'!" Tatsuha called with a feeble attempt at nonchalance, "didn't see you there...!"

"Get over here."

For a moment Tatsuha seemed to hesitate, apparently weighing his chances of being able to run faster than Eiri. But he finally shuffled over. "Listen, I know what you're going to say, but it wasn't my fault! Ayaka-san forced me to do it! She's older than me, and with the engagement and everything I had to show the proper respect due to an older sister – "

"Bullshit." Eiri scowled, fumbling uselessly in his robes for the cigarettes Mika had taken off him earlier in the day. The last thing they needed, she had scolded him, was for him to meet Ayaka and her parents with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. And that morning he had felt so utterly defeated that he hadn't been able to find the strength to argue. "You're better at wriggling out of trouble than anyone I know. You could have just called Mika. If you'd done that, this whole embarrassing disaster wouldn't have happened!"

"Oh come on, _aniki!"_ Tatsuha cried with what sounded like genuine indignation, "you didn't _really _want to marry Ayaka-san and become a priest, did you?"

"That's none of your damn business. What the hell were you thinking, bringing that idiot here, let alone dressed in that ridiculous getup?"

_In that stupid orange dress._ Eiri felt his chest tighten just at the thought of it. He hated that dress on Shuichi. He thought he actually hated it more than the sailor suit, and that was saying something.

"Now that really _wasn't_ my idea," Tatsuha said, a smile tugging dangerously at his lips, "Shuichi thought that if he pretended to be Ayaka and broke off the engagement, Dad would – "

"Forget it!" Eiri growled. He really didn't want to know just what lengths Shuichi had been prepared to go to in order to win him back.

_Shuichi in a sailor suit… _

Eiri pushed the memories away. "I've come to expect that sort of half-arsed reasoning from him. You still haven't explained yours. Why did you help to fuck things up when I was finally doing the right thing?"

An odd look flickered across Tatsuha's dark eyes. He squared his shoulders and met Eiri's gaze without flinching. "Who says it _was_ the right thing?" he asked in a steady, coldly challenging tone that was startling in its sudden maturity. "Sis and Tohma are always running after you with a stretcher and a first aid box in case you fall and hurt yourself and I don't notice it making you any happier. Sis keeps insisting the match was a good idea because you were unhappy the way you were, but I don't see what was so wrong with your life the way it was - I thought it was cool the way you suited yourself, why should you change that? Marrying Ayaka wouldn't change the fact that you hate it here!

"The way I see it, you chose Shuichi. You didn't chose Ayaka. I don't know what suddenly made you change your mind about him and about Ayaka, but whatever it was, I couldn't see your mind staying changed for long. I always thought the match was a stupid idea and you and Ayaka-san would be miserable together, but no-one ever listens to me! Besides," he concluded sullenly, "I reckon you'd make a really lousy priest."

Eiri gazed at his brother for a long time. Tatsuha gazed back with sulky defiance. So unexpected was this outburst from the one member of the family who almost never shoved his own opinions into the ongoing "what to do about Eiri" debate that just for a little while he allowed himself to consider Tatsuha's argument. Up until now he had allowed Tatsuha more freedom to wander in and out of his life than anyone else precisely because his younger brother did not appear to have an opinion, seemed content to accept Eiri as he was. But the cynic in him had always sneered quietly that Tatsuha's neutrality was purely selfish - Eiri's presence in Tokyo allowed him to skilfully manage his double life - to drink and chase girls and dream of Sakuma Ryuichi for a while before returning to Kyoto to resume the role of the dutiful son. It now appeared he had not given Tatsuha quite enough credit.

But anger and frustration quickly swelled within him once more. Why was this happening? He had resigned himself to what was to come. He had made a clean break. He had set Shuichi free of him and his cursed luck, whether Shuichi wanted to be set free or not. Why was he here once again, back to square one, faced with the choice of ending things with Shuichi a third time?

And what about Ayaka? What the hell had gotten into her?

No - actually he didn't want to know; was almost afraid to know what she had seen in him, to understand what had convinced her to give up her romantic dreams in such a dramatic way. Whatever it was, it was probably Shuichi's fault anyway - if that deadly combination of unaffected boyish charm, loveable idiocy and poorly disguised vulnerability could infiltrate Eiri's ironclad heart and forcibly disciplined mind, what chance was there for a naive, fanciful girl?

Suddenly the past few days - moving out his things, driving to Kyoto, proposing to Ayaka, officiating at the funeral - began to feel like a dream. Or maybe this was the dream, and he was still alone in his childhood bedroom, awaiting his wedding to Ayaka and driven by some perverse longing to dream of marrying Shuichi in that horrible orange dress…

Damn Shuichi for coming here. He had no business coming here. He had no business sacrficing himself for him in the first place. Damn him for thinking that Eiri needed his protection… needed his affection. And above all, damn him for wearing that stupid orange dress!

Finally Eiri gave a humourless grunt of laughter. "Do you really think Shuichi is a better alternative to Ayaka?"

"Why not?" Tatsuha shrugged. "I like him."

"You _like _him." Eiri shook his head in disgust. "Why? Because he's pretty? Because he's in a band? Or because he reminds you of your beloved Sakuma? _What is there to like in that damned brat?"_

Tatsuha rolled his eyes. "Great gods, _aniki, _you're the one who's sleeping with him! Why are you asking _me?"_

Eiri stared at his younger brother for a long moment, then lowered his gaze to the ground. "Hell… I don't know…"

He sensed Tatsuha move just a little closer. A hand settled tentatively on his shoulder. "You _don't _know, do you…?" The tone was gentle, almost… pitying. "Damn, bro'… you really _are_ fucked up, aren't you…?"

As Eiri jerked his head up to fix Tatsuha with a ferocious scowl, the boy drew back sharply. "Uh - well… I guess I'd better check on Dad…"

"Leave it," Eiri heard himself say, "he'll be mad at you too."

"It's okay," Tatsuha said, giving Eiri a faint, wry smile. "He'll forgive me soon enough."

That at least was true. Tatsuha had managed to achieve a far better relationship with their father than Eiri ever had, even before his ill-fated trip to New York. The younger son knew how to play the old man; managed to brush aside his conservatism, his bad temper, his coldness. And their father apparently allowed himself to be played. Perhaps his car-crash of a relationship with his elder son and its consequences during and after New York had actually taught him a lesson. Perhaps he had at least learned enough not to alienate the only other son he had. Or perhaps, Eiri considered with a caustic wave of bitterness, it was just the dark hair and eyes which finally carried the day.

"Tatsuha…"

"Yeah…?"

Eiri nodded in the direction of the house. "Do me a favour and take Shuichi back to Tokyo."

Tatsuha stole a brief glance at him, his expression unreadable. Then he shook his head. "Nah… I think I'll stay here for a while. I'm supposed to be officiating at a wedding tomorrow… besides, this new family just moved into the house opposite and the eldest daughter's totally – " he broke off, this time returning Eiri's glare with a more characteristically impish grin. "You take him home, _aniki_ – he's _your_ boyfriend."

**TBC: Afternoon ****- **Eiri finally confronts the boy of the orange dress. Have all his efforts to "do the right thing" _really _been for nothing? LAST PART!

**

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NOTES: **I haven't given people much time to review so I'll just respond to KyoHana's comments. Personally I love Rome Elliot's bored, slightly flat tones; they just capture that slight sense of emotional dissociation I always feel with Eiri – for me that sums up his character far better than just assuming he's a heartless sod. (Eiri's emotional problems were one of the deeper elements in Gravitation that got me hooked – throughout the story it seems to me he says (and even thinks) one thing and then does another, doesn't know why and frequently withdraws into himself when he realizes what he's done!) 

I have to confess I watch the English dub more than the subtitled version – don't know why (as a general rule I despise dubbed films… and the dubbing from Japanese or Chinese to English is usually dire… I'd quote Jackie Chan's earlier films and Godzilla as good examples…!), except perhaps it's an accent thing… Over here in the UK, perhaps far more than in the US or Canada, your accent almost immediately marks out where you come from (even what part of London in some cases!) and says a lot about your background – so naturally enough the differences in background between Shuichi and Eiri, for example, who after all only have 3 years between them, are more apparent to me when they're speaking English. Does this make ANY sense?!

Then again, Kazuhiko Inoue has a gorgeous, expressive voice… his threatening of Aizawa complete with "meow" was a masterpiece…

What it really comes down to, I suppose, is what Vin wisely noted in one of her stories – we are lucky to have so many versions of this lovely story; each is slightly different!

Sorry, there I go again, talking bollocks – but what do you expect from a bird with more rabbit than Sainsbury's? (Just for you, Supershu!)


	5. Afternoon

**ORANGE DRESS by Moon71**

**Chapter** **5: Afternoon – **It would seem all of Eiri's efforts to alienate Shuichi have been for nothing… or have they?

**Author's Notes: **Well here we are at the end!!! I will respond to comments below, but here I would just like to thank everyone who has so generously reviewed. It's not the amount that matters, it's the thoughtfulness and attention that means so much. Of all my stories, this has probably been revised the least, so I hope there were no glaring inconsistencies you were all too polite to mention! This last scene, along with the Tatsuha scene, was written before the others. If it isn't already obvious, it takes place _after _Eiri told Shuichi about his past and then pushed him into the garden pond.

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Early afternoon, in the temple courtyard. 

He found Shuichi sitting on the low wall near to where Eiri's car was parked, his hands tucked between his knees, his head bent, his hair still damp from the dip he had just taken in the ornamental pond.

Eiri breathed a sigh of relief when he noted the absence of the dress - he was now wearing Eiri's trousers and… oh yes, one of Eiri's favourite shirts. Cream coloured silk. Mika had probably picked it for him out of spite. Actually it looked better on Shuichi, with his golden-olive skin and twilight blue eyes. It even set off that stupid pink hair. The whole outfit should have made him look stupid, but it actually looked rather… cute, with the sleeves and trouser legs rolled up and the shirt tails hanging about his knees.

Unfortunately the pale silk emphasised more than Shuichi's bright colouring. Eiri's eyes were unwillingly drawn to those bruises on Shuichi's neck which had turned a brownish-yellow but still hadn't completely faded. An image swam into focus in Eiri's mind of some revolting, ham-fisted brute gripping him by the throat while he…

Eiri pushed the thought away. Shuichi looked unusually grave; his round, fine-boned face was uncharacteristically pale and still, giving it a peculiar beauty in place of its more usual amiable cuteness. As Eiri watched, his dark brows drew together in a faint troubled frown.

Evidently the euphoria of ending Eiri's engagement had worn off. Or maybe it was more than that...

"So you're still here," Eiri said abruptly.

Shuichi looked up, startled. Then he nodded. His gaze shifted uncertainly over the temple grounds; Eiri might have mistaken it for curiosity if Shuichi hadn't looked so uncomfortable. He was a city boy, far out of his element, an uninvited guest who had already overstayed his welcome. "It's... really pretty here," he offered at last.

"I hate it."

Brightness flickered briefly in Shuichi's eyes. "Then you're not going to - "

Eiri tossed him his car keys. "Wait in the car. I'll drive you home."

Shuichi stared down at the keys as if he did not understand what they were for. When he looked up at Eiri, the worried frown was back. "Yuki, I..."

Ah. At last. Reality really had penetrated. Eiri knew what was coming next. Questions, questions, questions. He would want Eiri to explain, to give details, to justify. He couldn't _really_ be a murderer - it must have been an accident, or in self-defence. Even now Shuichi was probably conjuring up some Kurosawa style fantasy of Eiri saving innocent villagers from evil bandits. Eiri would do his very best to disillusion him.

"Yuki, I... I'm sorry about earlier."

Once again, Eiri was caught off balance. No questions? Wasn't he even _curious?_

_Who cares about the past? _Did Shuichi seriously expect him to believe that? He had finally told him the truth, and taken a certain grim pleasure in doing it, knowing that if anything finally drove away the pestilential brat and silenced his avowals of unconditional love, that would. Had he really revealed his past for nothing?

Eiri swallowed hard, managing to keep his tone even. "Exactly what part of your earlier conduct are you apologising for?"

"Your Dad, mainly... I didn't mean to upset him that much. I got all hyped up and just sort of... lost it, you know? I didn't really mean any disrespect – I mean, he's your Dad and all, and he's a priest… I guess it was really stupid, dressing up as Ayaka and everything, but I... I wasn't really thinking straight. See, the thing is, when you left, Ayaka told me about how you proposed to her and I…"

"Forget it," Eiri snapped irritably, cutting the flow short before it could gather momentum, "just wait in the car."

"Well, would you tell him and Mika-san that I'm sorry?"

_"Just get in the damned car!"_

Eiri turned on his heel and tramped back to the house, seething with bitter rage.

He had to get out of here. His worlds were colliding. Shuichi was here, in Kyoto. Shuichi had stood in his family home. And now Shuichi knew the truth about his past. He had tried to get away from Shuichi and all that had resulted was a spiralling sequence of events which seemed to have bound them even closer together.

He paused long enough at the house only to shove his laptop back into its case, shed his priest's robes and pull on some trousers and a slightly crumpled shirt. He hesitated for a second, wondering if he should tell Mika he was going, but decided against it. He would have to talk to her sooner or later – would have to face her anger and her recriminations. But not now, and definitely not _here._

Shuichi was waiting obediently in the passenger seat when Eiri arrived to throw his laptop bag in the back with uncharacteristic carelessness. As he settled himself in the driver's seat and slammed the door closed, Shuichi meekly handed him his keys, his eyes lowered, his manner strangely demure as he silently turned to look out of the window.

Eiri felt an unexpected chill rising through him. "Want the radio on?" he asked experimentally.

"Oh… if you like, Yuki…" Shuichi answered softly, not moving.

Eiri considered reaching out a hand to touch him, just to see how he reacted. It was beginning to seem he was wrong after all. Perhaps the poison had just been of the slow-acting kind. Maybe it just took time for the full reality of what Eiri had revealed to filter through into Shuichi's music-clogged brain. Whatever the truth, it was beginning to be apparent that Shuichi was uncomfortable in his company.

Evidently, he was debating the wisdom of making a long car journey alone with a murderer.

Eiri had, it would seem, finally got the result he wanted after all. He had alienated Shuichi without having to run away from him or throw him out.

He was here, now, with Shuichi. They were alone. Eiri's engagement to Ayaka was dead in the water – even his father and sister had to accept that now. Shuichi had won, or at should at least be thinking he had won, and he would surely want to celebrate. He could kiss Eiri, put his arms around him; he could declare his love for him all the way from here to Tokyo. But he wasn't doing it. He wasn't even looking at him.

Eiri should have felt some bitter satisfaction. He had been vindicated. All his views on the fallacy of romantic love that Shuichi had tried so hard to make him change had proved correct. The power of love was just so much cow crap; it danced around, shining brightly and singing a beautiful song while times were good, but when faced with a real challenge it ran away screaming. So he said in his books, and so he believed.

But Eiri felt no satisfaction. Instead he felt… bereft.

He didn't like the feeling. He had felt it before… sometime… sometime after returning from New York. After the shock and the anger and the betrayal and the confusion had all faded… and it was all over… and Yuki was dead and Eiri found he couldn't even love Tohma anymore because Tohma had seen what he had done… and knew what had been done to him… and Mika was barely speaking to her husband and it was all Eiri's fault…

No. He _wouldn't _go back there. He wouldn't remember. He wouldn't let what had happened to Shuichi _force_ him to remember…

"Yuki…?" Gentle fingers brushed against his hand.

Without warning even to himself, Eiri seized Shuichi in his arms and kissed him with a desperate passion. His lover gave a soft cry, but almost immediately afterwards slender, sinewy arms locked around his waist and a hungry, willing mouth opened to welcome him. The relief Eiri felt was startling – infuriating – but at that moment he didn't care. All that mattered was that the only image in his mind just then was a pleasing fantasy of a naked, beautiful youth stretching out seductively to him with a come-hither smile.

He broke the kiss, gasping, and crushed Shuichi's body to his own. He pressed his face into clean, soft hair and breathed in the familiar scent, not caring how it looked, to Shuichi or anyone else.

"Oh Yuki…" Shuichi was panting into Eiri's neck, "I was afraid… I thought… you seemed so pissed at me I thought… I thought maybe… maybe I'd got it wrong… you know? Maybe you really did want to marry Ayaka after all…"

Eiri sighed deeply. Good old Shuichi. Always thinking of himself before anyone else.

But just for this little while, Eiri found he didn't give a damn about that either.

THE END

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**NOTES: **

**CHAPTER 3:**Yes, I know it was incredibly short! I suppose realistically I should have posted Chapters 2 and 3 together, but it would have rather stuffed up the times of the day format! As with all my stories, this was written in the short story format – i.e. to be read as one piece. I only started cutting up my fics when someone complained they were too long in one chuck, and to be honest, I do think it's easier to enjoy a story in instalments! (Personally, marketing ploy or not, I adored reading Stephen King's i _The Green Mile /i _that way!) But sometimes stories don't lend themselves well to choppy-choppy!

**SUBTITLES VERSUS DUB: **Thank you everyone for such an interesting discussion! I suppose only the Japanese speakers among us can know exactly what the correct interpretation of the Gravitation words are – I've noticed at least one other subtitled version kicking around on Youtube where the subtitles are different from the ones on my DVDs (for example, when he first kisses Shuichi in the lift, Eiri says "tell me why" on my version but "oh well" on the other version! Ooh, its enough to drive you crazy! I mean, certainly they both make sense, but I refuse to believe they mean the same thing in Japanese! Oh well… probably better leave that one alone…

Thank you in particular to Vin for such a thoughtful comment on this. I agree totally – cultural references are lost in translation. My little joke to Supershu was a good (but unintentional!) example! In my limited understanding of Japanese I believe that what tone you use when you say some words will affect what it means. (In a way that's true of many languages, but I believe its quite specific in Japanese?!) So of course the English dub actors (and script translators) are up against it! But I do think the quality of the voice actors in both camps is admirable – the English-speaking K, in particular, has a terrific voice and it took me an age to remember where I'd heard it before – in another anime, of course!

I also agree with what you said about the chibi phenomenon – I think its also that animes / mangs and the animated form in particular have their own rules. Just look at Tom and Jerry and the fatal wounds they inflict on each other! I think there is also just a general logic you have to accept when you step into the anime world – hair and eye colour, for example. (I mean, logic dictates Shuichi dyes his hair pink… but his eyebrows too? And – sorry Shuichi, sorry Tohma – violet eyes? Turquoise eyes?) Obviously many of these things are there to make the animated form aesthetically pleasing, and let's face it, it would be, quite literally, far duller if they stuck to the laws of racial genetics!

**One or two last scraps** – I agree with you again, Vin, about Rome Elliot's Eiri being a clincher – if I was tied down and tortured I'd admit Shuichi is my absolute favourite, simply because of the growing process he goes through – if he'd been a hyperactive prat all the way through it, I would have gotten pretty tired of him. But it was Eiri's problems, expressed in those remote tones, which really hooked me. (As with Shuichi, if he'd carried on being a complete sod for the sake of it, it would have been incredibly hard to like him – I'd probably have been willing him to shoot himself in New York!)

Oh yes… and about Shuichi's polite swearing – absolutely! His "oh shoot!" in the OVA, for example, was charming but a little unbelievable!! If he'd been born here, he would no doubt have called Eiri a "f---k—g w—nker!" I would die to have him say that in a story one day… well, you never know… Shuichi comes to London and attends a football match… things are never the same again…

RIGHT. These notes are getting obscenely long so I'll finish here except to translate: "rabbit" is slang for "chatter." "Sainsbury's" is just a supermarket chain! But the two together explain the meaning, I think? "Bird" is woman! And bollocks… not sure if that one has crossed the Atlantic already, but lets just say, Shuichi has got them, so has Eiri, and so have Suguru and Tohma (though with the feminine pitch of their voices, I'm not sure the last two have them in working order!) Ayaka and Mika, obviously, don't… and thank you again, Supershu – no-one has ever called me way too cool before!


End file.
